I am full.

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” — Albert Schweitzer

Yes, we’re about to get emotional. How could I not? I have felt more love and have been given more strength this week then I could have ever imagined. I have been moved to the core by people’s words and generosity. People I don’t speak with often, people I’ve worked with, former bosses, my closest friends, friends of friends, friends overseas, and my family. My first family, my second family, my third family.

I am humbled. I am grateful. I am full.

Two weeks ago I was a mess. One day, while blow drying my hair, my arm was getting sore and I became impatient. I barely finished the thought before feeling a ball in my throat tighten. The tears were practically instant. Days before, my doctor had told me I would definitely lose my hair. “Maybe not your eyebrows, though. For some people, they just thin out.” OH GOD, MY EYEBROWS. “And do you want to freeze your eggs? There’s only a 10% chance you’ll become infertile, but you never know” UM. 

Today? Today I am walking strong, infused with the power given to me by beautiful humans through cheers, love, packages — and a sense of peace neither I nor Zach anticipated would come via the crowdsourcing page our beautiful friend, Dillon set up.

Zach. That’s a human who hasn’t been brought up enough. He’s magic. He’s been to every appointment. Countless waiting rooms. He’s ready to take on our insurance company. He’s locked and loaded with pamphlets. Zach is taking on cancer just as much as I am. We’ll feel it differently, but he’ll see it all. He’ll feel it all. And during some moments, he’ll do it all. Just remember him during this journey, as well.

And to you guys – I need to find a better way to say thank you. I’ve been saying it a lot this week, and I don’t want it to lose its meaning. But know that I mean it so passionately and so euphorically. Thank you. 

One thought on “I am full.

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